Thank You!

1 Sep

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I walk a very fine line between madness, self-loathing, guilt and being empowered, mentally/spiritually healthy, and an undefeated warrior…There is absolutely no way that anyone could have lived through what I have and not be this way! I have never used anything to dull my pain. I do not drink, take drugs, pop prescription pills, abuse those around me, feel sorry for myself, curl up into a shell and become numb to life, nothing, I deal with it, I OWN IT and keep moving forward, I keep fighting.

However, I am just a woman. I lose my shit sometimes, just like everyone else. Up until a little over a year ago, I never had anyone to help me, to truly listen and absorb some of my pain. Now I have Devoted Blood. He is truly everything to me. He even embraces all my pain and anguish, and believe me there is a lot. In truth, I should have died many times over, but I did not. I survived, everything.

Anyway, I just want to tell DB how much I appreciate him being there for me, every single time, never faltering, never giving up on me, never turning away from me, not even when I’m being mean. I can say very cruel things. Even to DB, just because he’s the one who is there, taking care of me.

I should be good now. I just exited my car, walked outside and vomited the bitterness of decades and the hundreds & hundreds of lies and unnecessary BS, cruelty and abuse.

I love you Devoted Blood Ray! Not nearly a strong enough word, but I do love you more than anything!!! Thank you.

Forevermore,
~Julia DarkRose Ray

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