Archive | May, 2015

Twenty-one Years of Living Vampire History

31 May

While finishing packing up the last box of my 21+ years of the Vampire Community crap that I have accumulated and deciding what can be thrown away and what I feel absolutely needs to be preserved for the sake of our real history, not merely just someone’s perspective but factual hard evidence of what came before so that you are now able to have the relatively easy path that is now the V community…a path paved in blood, real and metaphorical…I came across this email from 2003. This is a letter from My good friend Ben M. I met Ben when I lived with the Kheperians in Ohio. Ben was once married to one of the founders of the House and it’s current owner/operator (for lack of a more PC term).

I am sharing this particular email for even though Ben is no longer a part of the V community, his insights into it were borne from his close relationships with those in The Kheperian House as well, as his intimate knowledge of the beginning of the creation of the Community. I believe that for those who actually care and truly want what’s best for all concerned, that you will find the contents of his letter worthwhile and be grateful for the chance to read an actual piece of the V community history.

His letter is about the Vampire path and his friends and loved ones that he has since parted from.

*Disclaimer-I have only mentioned the Kheprians as a timeline in history. I am in no way berating that particular House or any of its members.*

11377392_358522447674794_2562430549518009645_n         11026160_358522497674789_7578012030543762913_n

I have re-typed it for easier reading.

Thank you kindly for your time.
~Julia DarkRose

Julia,
This is Ben. I haven’t heard from you in a while so I thought I’d drop you a quick note. I hope things are going well for you in your day to day life, and that you’re finding serenity.
That’s more or less why I’m writing. Among the people that walk that particular path that I have met, I respect you the most. I recognize that throughout your struggles you remain true to yourself. And it’s important to me that you’re happy. While I think that serenity is something that just about everyone we know in common could do a world of good for, I somehow believe that you are, in my opinion, deserving of it perhaps just a little bit more than some others.

As for me, I’m doing quite well. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m no longer working at that store in Brunswick, I was moved to another store, and a month later laid off.

I’d be lying if I were to say that it wasn’t a stressful time. Bur through perseverance, I’m quite proud to report that I was hired by another company within a week, and that the change has proven to be a significantly positive experience.

It’s been absolutely splendid. At the new company, people are thankfully just a little bit more bizarre. So. yeah, I’m doing well, and what seemed to be a complete disaster has actually been a significantly uplifting experience.

I still think about my former friends and loved ones of course. I sometimes imagine somehow being able to share what I’ve learned in the time that they and I have parted ways, maybe illuminate something about the possibilities that are out there and yet within regarding the changes that we can undergo and how much actual freedom that everyone possesses. But even after all this time, there’s still a lot of pride, and there’s still a lot of fear.

I think a great deal of the suffering that’s happening in that community has a lot to do with inertia. The sense that there is somehow some sort of significant journey or undertaking that is present, but yet the strong impetus doesn’t seem to actually desire to GO anyplace or DO anything. Defiance against an imagined threat, loyalty in the face of an alleged betrayal, these things splinter even the strongest minds and wills.

The imagination, a tool of freedom, essential for our means of visualizing and comprehending the things that cannot actually be perceived, has been harnessed for a redundant purpose. It’s been used to create a rigid unchanging hierarchy of place and means and it imprisons most of the known human race. Even those who would break away from this spiritual slavery of another kind.

So I worry. And sometimes I hope that time and experience continues to propel everyone forward to making new discoveries about themselves and the way they are choosing to live, both in a day to day life and there spiritual exploration of the darkness within and without., And other times I worry that those who really don’t want to grow in either or both aspects of living, guard their position, knowledge, charisma, and intellect very jealously, and continue to cycle in a permanent sort of hovering, desperately preserving their “place” against all indications that sometimes one needs to move onto new things, new aspects of the self, new possibilities.

Cattiness, minor betrayals, small differences of opinion inside a tightly wound insular community are ubiquitously exploded into the drama. This is nothing altogether new or even necessarily something to be all that ashamed of. It’s universal to every human in any insular religious or spiritual order that has existed on this planet. In this tight proximity, our weaknesses (be they great or small, many or few) create hurricanes. Our willingness to survive these sorts of things is perhaps the greatest test that any particular spiritual community can undergo.

I guess what I’m trying to do is perhaps shed some objectivity into the area of your particular struggle. Regardless of as desperate or self destructive that community that you are close to has become, I’m of the mind that you do possess the strength of chartacter and will to abide whatever outcome is final. Unlike most all the others, you have been proven, and while many others do not and perhaps never will appreciate the true signifigance of this, I haven’t forgotten it, and most importantly, you never will.

I’m sure that you’ll be able to remain strong in the face of this, and eventually, time will tell.

-ben

End Email

I believe that this particular email that was written to me from a very important person from within the making of the very beginning of the Vampire community, is important for those who care, to read, absorb and to truly understand it’s meaning, it’s value and it’s importance.

Thank you Ben M. Your words (which I know you do not mind that I have shared after all these years with the community of people of which you referred to) have never left me. I did not forget, nor will I ever.

~Julia DarkRose

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Who Shall Come With Me?

31 May

*Eleventh re-post of my literary art and the truth that seeps from my dark angel heart through every pore on my body. Thank you for taking a moment to read my thoughts come alive through the printed (electronic) word.*

**Just a reminder of who I am and what The DarkRose Journal Family of Dark Angels stand for, believe in, fight for, and live.**

By Julia DarkRose
©2013

Who Shall Come With Me?

As I walk through the wilderness of this world…

I learn, speak, and act upon things sublime, or things earthly; things honorable, or things divine; things sacred, or things profane; things past, or things that might be to come; things foreign, or things domestic; things more essential, or things circumstantial.

I walk through the wilderness wide awake, not asleep or dreaming. While walking, fighting, and living, great horror and those selling false darkness and light continue to fall upon me.

Who shall life’s true valor see, let them come forward; one here will constant be, come winds, come torrential weather, come the bloody storms. There’s no discouragement shall make them relent their first avow’d intent to be a warrior, a valiant spirit, a truth Sayer, a dark angel, their true self.

My well used and blood soaked sword I give to you that shall succeed me in my sojourn and my courage and skill to you that can carry it and understand it.

My many marks, scars and wounds I carry with me, to be a witness for me, that I have fought the battle of truth, who now will be my rewarder?

Naught will I be rewarded for battling against the false darkness and light…The courage and freedom to fight is itself my reward…

Who shall come with me?

Please, walk with me, until it’s time for us to part ways…
yet always be forever joined.

Into the New Darklight

30 May

This, my final re-post…for at least 2 months (that’s my best guess, lol), is the “Letter From the Editor,” from Issue 6 (or maybe 5, my mind wanders sometimes and the things not immediately needed to remember in life get jumbled inside, lol). Again, thank you to everyone who has taken a few minutes out of their lives to read my literary art. It truly does mean more to me than I can easily convey in a social media post. It is my hope that somewhere, lurking either in the shadows of my words or standing up right in front of you whilst reading my hard earned wisdom (which is, of course, subjective), that you find what you need, if indeed you are searching, or that you find peace, if you are indeed in need, or
that my life transformed into prose, has somehow, in some way, helped you or at the very least, entertained you.

First, I would like to remind everyone of The DarkRose Journal ‘Fine Print,’ which has graced Her crimson pages from the very first issue (1994)…

By Julia DarkRose
©1994

Fine Print                                                            Julia DarkRose~Living Vampire 2013

This Journal is dedicated to exploring the pleasures of the Dark
and alternative realities, through the arts. These do not include
any manner of violent acts, kinkiness with unwilling parties,
sexual misconduct, exploitation of the young and/or innocent,
or illegal activities of any kind, even if the only aggrieved party
might be a right wing extremist, a left wing extremist, or a
politician.

Articles and features in the Journal are of an informative,
educational, historical, entertaining, or satirical nature.
Those who do not enjoy the Journal and do not wish to expand
their understanding of the world in which they live, and/or
broaden their horizons by exploring or reading about alternative
lifestyles that the Journal describes, should simply put it down
and not read the damn thing. The Dark and alternative lifestyles
are meant only for those who desire it, and is not meant to be
foisted upon any unsuspecting parties.

We do not practice evil
(Which is subjective anyway),
encourage anarchy, or think people should wear fishing hats to
funerals-although we defend the rights of people to do any of
these.

All those people out there who have such lonely lives and so
much free time on their hands that they think they should care
what books other people read, what movies they watch, and
which Gods (if any) they worship should just shut the hell up
and try to develop some kind of life of their very own.
So, there.
~The DarkRose Journal~

Into The New DarkLight
By Julia DarkRose
©2014

I am the darklight of all days that are passed, and my name is evolution.
I am the darklight of this day today, and my name is renewal.
I am the darklight of all days to be, and my name is
revelation…

Ancient flesh turned to stone,
Whitened dust of ancient bone,
Pure as death, cold as snow,
Dead thou wast, but livest now.
Crystal crushed, vision broken,
Spirit fettered, words unspoken,
What is frozen shall be warm,
What is formless shall take form,
What was scattered shall be whole,
Given life within this deceiver’s wasteland.

White of petals, white of ice,
White of dust and white of stone,
White of crystal, white of bone,
All things keeping, all things giving,
Out of nothing, all things living,
Out of emptiness, all darklight,
Out of blindness, now our sight.

I am now the crimson Light risen out of pure darkness:
From my brow springs all life again and again.
I am now evolved, I am now renewed,
I am now thy hope, and thy covenant, and thy
revelation.

I am alive; I wake from within my own dark embrace;
The white owl ascends, and I rise…

Out of the whitened ashes of humanity’s fire,
Out of the white stone and the white crystal,
Out of the pure white flame;
My feathers are scarlet and they are azure,
They are fiery, they are verdant,
They are golden, and they are of royal purple;
I am all things living,
I am the spring and the summer,
I am the autumn and the winter,
I am time, I am revelation,
I burn from this first dawn
Even unto the last darkness of this glorious life
Into which I will fall
And from which I will rise again…

I do not end, I am the DarkLight,
I have just begun!

Welcome to Issue 5
of The DarkRose Journal!

Welcome to renewal, healing,
empowerment, self-revelation, and true
transformation within the beautiful,
rejuvenating, Darkness.
From within your very own flames
of self-evolution.
Stand up and rise from the ashes!

*I enlarged this photo still from the last documentary that I did and it blurred. Sorry about that. Everyone say “Hello,” to Wes Hendricks, it is his blood that I am devouring. Thank you Wes! :-)*

Liars Glory…

27 May

*Ninth re-post of some of my favorite pieces of dark artistry, written from the depths of all that I am.*

Liars Glory, Evil Ghosts, and Putrid Ghouls:
(Crimson Angels are Coming for You)                    BeFunky_10686705_1420218531601764_3374857211359016607_n.jpg
By Julia DarkRose
©2013

Now earth is earth
And earth is air
And earth is water
And earth is fire:
Let all go into thee
And all be thine
Let all arise from thee
And then be mine…

Oh luminous halo,
Crescent be full
And crystal fill:
Thus my eye,
My spirit and my heart,
And thus my will…

Scarab of the golden orb
Sweet death is now yours
New life has begun…

With oak I lead
That ash may follow
Also alder
Elm and willow
Cedar and locust
Hickory, larch,
Walnut, chestnut
Poplar, birch,
Beech and maple
Fir and pine:
All these powers
so be mine.

The dimness be lightened
The harsh be softened
The rank be sweetened
By the power of my divine…

North, South, East, West…
Spider’s web shall bind
The charlatans best.
East, West, north, South…
Hold their limbs and stop
Their mouth
Seal their eyes and
Choke their breath
Wrap them round with
Ropes of the true death.

White of bone
Dark of shade
Of dust and night
Spiritual death is made,
Death myself
Death my peer,
What I hold
I do not fear.
So bone to flesh
And sun to shadow
Death my dear
I give thee life,
To dissolve the false darkness
And the corrupted Light…

Bone to flesh
Shadow reborn
As death is mine,
It bears me life,
And confounds the deceptive hordes.

Flesh of the Darklight
Born of death and Darkness,
Give my will
Thy life and breath
Whither dry and shrink to dust
My heart and spirit
Shall feed upon
Their lying crust.
Oh you faithless,
Deceptive breed,
Your flight is now stayed
Your false wings bound,
Our cloud of fire
Cast thee back into the ground…

My spirit is a dark fire.
My spirit is eternal.
My spirit is one spirit–
The spirit of the Crimson Moon.
And our spirit holds the fire of the Cosmos.
Breathe here and now with me,
And so shall the universe breathe,
And of our own breath
Shall all and all and all,
be made anew.

“Thank You”

25 May

This is an excerpt of a “Thank You,” written by Johnny DB Crow for the first issue of The DarkRose Journal-ReVamped.

Property of DarkRose Productions
© Johnny DB Crow 2013
Julia DarkRose~Queen 1 Watermark
 Thank You DarkRose Journal

I can honestly say that I have the DRJ to thank for completely changing my life and very existence!
How you say?
Well, I will be glad to tell you…

I first discovered the DRJ as an advertisement in some long forgotten underground magazine back in 1995. Yes, 1995. We are all getting older. I wrote a letter to a Lady DarkRose, I assumed the person that wrote and published the magazine. Just a short letter introducing myself, inquiring about ordering information, price, etc. To my surprise, she went ahead and sent me a copy, a letter in her lovely script and scent (she always smells of roses) saying she trusted me to send payment and hoped that I enjoyed her magazine, a questionnaire to fill out and some DRJ flyers that I still have to this day.

I immersed myself into this incredible collection of beautifully written darkness, finding deep truths about myself. I learned that I wasn’t evil incarnate like I had been called all my life. There were others like myself and they weren’t hiding or denying who or what they were.
Leading, organizing, fighting and sacrificing for this group of like minded individuals (now the so called OVC) was this Lady DarkRose that trusted me enough to send her magazine at her own expense, assuming I was honorable and respectful enough to send payment, I was. Just from her words, actions and obvious passion for like minded kind, I knew that I loved this DarkRose and thought her beautiful. I filled out the questionnaire and returned it, which she still has today. In her next letter, DarkRose sent me a photo of herself and unfuckingholyshit! She was the most beautiful woman in the world!!! I was already in love with her just through her words and ideals, when I saw her, I saw my vision of absolute perfection I had always imagined and fantasized about.

*End Excerpt*

*These are his words, not mine. I have to emphasize (how sad that I feel I have to always include disclaimers) the fact that I didn’t write this about myself, lest I be accused of being a media whore, a narcissist, a glamour vampyre slut (who steals other women’s husbands/boyfriends) or a myriad of other untruths that people who actually feel unsatisfied with what they’ve allowed themselves to become and the life they have chosen to live, need to spew at me (Lol), without any valid foundation from which they draw upon these hate-filled fabled conclusions. smile emoticon… I am simply sharing but another person’s (one of many) gratitude for who and what I have chosen to become and for who and what I keep becoming, and my efforts to help others from that which I have already lived, and from that which I am living and will live.This was published in issue 1 of ‘The DarkRose Journal’-ReVamped copyright 2013.*

Thank you.
~Julia DarkRose

**This is a photo of one of the flyers I sent to Johnny DB Crow in 1995.*

Thank You DRJ

In Darkness

23 May

*Ninth re-posting of some of my favorite literary pieces. Thank you for your time and patience and understanding with me and my re-posts. Even though many have already experienced my symphony of utterance, again and again, many have not. I know, through decades of my writing, that my thoughts turned into the printed word, have helped many people, indeed, still does reach many and help them find themselves and their way on the often winding and treacherous road of life. :-)*

The Darkness of the universe
whispered into my soul,
It breathed it’s breath of life into me,
And said, I am coming, you must live…

Oh, and live, I shall…

In Darkness                                                   Ludavik~Vampire 3 Watermark

Happy our early days,
when we shined in our
dark angel-infancy,
before we understood this world.

Oh, my darling night!
There is in your children,
a deep and dazzling darklight!
Through all our fleshly desires
glittering streams of truth and everlastingness
reach our spirits,
our eyes enthrall at it, as at eternity.

We see every night,
the kindred moon,
every night we glimpse forever,
we see it like a great ring of a pure
and endless radiant eclipse.

In our darkness,
all is chaotically calm, as it is midnight bright;
And round beneath it,
time in hours, days, years,
driven by the universal spheres,
like a vast shadow moved;
In which the world
and all her beauty were hurled
into our ebon hearts.

We watch the others walking
on their air of false grace and glory,
whose light doth try to trample on our
precious nights.

Their days, which are at best
but dull and pointless,
filled with brightly lit decay.

My darling dark angels,
I cannot send you alone into
the world of false light,
whilst I sit here
basking in the glittering night,
without placing a bloody kiss
upon your dewy smooth cheek,
and a sword bathed
in the blood of false angels,
into your fearless hands.

Go my family, the Angels of the crimson moon
and do what we do best…

Hunt, devour, teach, bring change, give without ego,
and love with the fierce, unquenchable,
dark fire of our nighttime world,
of our universe.

Here we are,
Babes of the moon,
Born now for all of you.
We are the faerie children,
We are brother and son,
We are sister and daughter,
We are mother and father,
We are the earth,
We are the water,
We are the air,
We are the fire,
We are compassion’s breath.
Our names are manifold,
Our name is Life.

~Julia DarkRose
©2013

The Vine

22 May

The Vine

I dreamed this earthly part of mine,   11329915_355830031277369_4846568505703915054_n
Was metamorphosed to a vine;
Which crawling, creeping, one and every way,
Enthralled my dainty Rose.
Me thought, her creamy, white, legs and thighs,
I with my tendrils did surprise;
Her belly, buttocks, and her slender waist,
By now soft nervelets were embraced.

About her head, I did hang, a writhing tangle of sensuality,
And with rich clusters (hid among the leaves)
her temples I behung,
so that my Rose seemed to me,
Young Bacchus ravished by his tree.
My curls about her neck did crawl,
And arms and hands they did enthral:
So that she could not freely move,
(All her parts made prisoner).

But when I crept with leaves to hide those parts,
which she keeps unespied,
Such fleeting pleasures there I took,
That with that fancy I awoke;
And found (Ah me!) This flesh of mine,
More like a rock hard stock, than like a vine.
~Julia DarkRose
©2012

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