Life

1 Jul

©Julia DarkRose
2015

Life                                                                       red night sky owl

“I’m not losing my mind,
I was just looking for the breath of life,
trying to find my dreams again,
a little sight of the beginning and the end,
a fleeting vision of the stars and the glittering air,
a vision of the All from the Nothing.”

Oh, my hallowed lambs, all you need is one more touch,
one more sweet caress,
just one more sensation of the mystical storm,
just one more breath of life.
Oh and then you’ll believe,
oh my, how you will believe then…

You say you just need your heart to bleed,
to beat in time with the thunder.
You say you just need your eyes to cry tears,
that cascade down the banality of your creviced face,
like the silky rain,
of a deathless life.

You need to dance with the wind again,
but your heart is a hollow place,
and for you the wind no longer blows through your soul,
the thunder has stopped crashing through your mind,
and the cleansing rain simply slides off of your numb flesh.
For you, the moon reveals no secrets, She is silent.

Oh, oh, oh, oh,
you’ll never find that breath of life,
you’ll never taste that mystical storm,
you’ll never have just one more touch…

Oh, my sacramental darling,
If you just breathe out the distorted fable of nirvana’s gleam,
and inhale the black blizzard in,
to dance with you once again,
under the ruby moon,
you’ll search no more for a breath of life…
Oh, my, no,
you will finally be the breath of ALL life.
~Julia DarkRose

Freedom

28 Jun

Excerpt from The DarkRose Journal, circa 1998…
By Julia DarkRose
©1998
**This is based on an actual entry from one of my Julia Journal’s from 1998. This was published as a non-fiction piece. It is up to the reader to understand which parts of my Journal entry have been fictionally enhanced and which parts are written as my experience truly happened. I will just convey to the reader that it is not as black & white as it might read. :-)**    JuliaDarkRose1998 Watermark

Freedom

The sharp iciness of Father Winter’s breath provides my soul with an undercurrent of repose and contentment. In the dead of winter, the Great Celestial Expanse has once again opened her arms to embrace me and fill me with her Essence. With her ebon wings tightly wrapped around my very Being, there is no power in this universe that I cannot comprehend and one night be a part of.

The beauty of the stark winter fills my senses with sweet rapture as does the breathtaking visions that are my Dark Angels. My precious Angels are infused with the passions and desires of the glorious night.They have become my haven in this mundane world of deceit and ignorance.

As I gaze outside my bedroom window, in anticipation of the ravenous night that awaits me and my Tribe, I have discovered Snow Faeries and their cousins, the Fire Sprites-performing their erotic dance amongst the death that has now engulfed my
rose garden.They are beckoning to me to come share in their beastliness. Oh! to dance naked in the moonlight, to let my primordial carnality take over completely, even for just a moment, is an invitation I will not refuse.

“My fierce beauties, it is I, Night’s beloved daughter, DarkRose. I have come to join you in your dark edenic dance.”

The ethereal beauty of my sisters brings a tear of ecstasy to my eyes. As I draw nearer to the frenzy of the savage sexuality before me, my purest being has become a torch of bestial bliss. My nymphs have swirled around me in a whirlwind of crimson lust and immortal desires. In an explosion of fiery passion, the faeries and sprites have torn from me the delicate crystalline nighty that had moments before gracefully clung to every very feminine curve of my silky white body. As my gown lay abandoned amongst the dead roses and the meager creatures of the night, so does my last breath of human morality. For a few moments, I am totally free to be the gloriously inhuman predator that dwells inside this soft mortal flesh of arteries, bones, and precious dark wine.

The pounding in my heart feels like the beating of some ancient warriors drum right before the onset of battle. My nipples are painfully erect in a joyful salute to the sexual debauchery that has engrossed my body and spirit. The fervid moistness between my thighs is perfumed with the lust and desires of the dark seraphs. As my liberated flesh trembles with heavenly sable hunger, I notice that the night and all her creatures have fallen silent. The only sound is the soft murmur of the eventide wind as He whispers my name and rejoices with me in my return to myself.

For a few precious moments in this world of light and lies, the beauty and truth of the true Darkness was revered and honored. The Great Father and Mother fell silent in our awe-inspiring dance. Then as quickly as they appeared, my decadent sisters have left our moonlit rendezvous. I know not why they came to me this night, or where they are going. I do know that they touch the part of my inky spirit where no human dares to journey. They are welcome to enter the portals of my world whenever they desire.

I ardently await their return.

~Julia DarkRose

*As you can read, The DarkRose Journal has been publishing the beautiful darkness for Her readers for a very long time…We are not going anywhere, ever. We are dedicated to bringing you the unabashed erotic truth, wisdom, and beauty of the realm of real living Dark Angels.*

DarkRose

26 Jun

By Julia DarkRose
©2015

DarkRose            Issue 7 image 4

No moon yet, but starlight burns in every direction. The crickets sing in the low lands as I climb, ears pricked and aware. The grass is dry, and the storm it desires but a distant rumble beyond the high ridges.

I, a dark rose, who have attained all life, now ask still further joy. For what is my sovereignty if I turn aside from my bestial pleasure? What is my earthly power if it stands still and rest content? I have flown from flesh to spirit, I have laughed at death. Should I not rejoice in this corporeal realm where flesh and death prevail?

I am invincible, I descend upon the ungrateful child’s conquered land and claim my spoil. I have lived here before, fixed to earth, now, I live again. With my new strength, just as the long vine that hangs upon the tree of all life, I wind my dark wisdom home again and seize what is mine. Night is my drinking hall. No longer held by death and his minions: I crowd them out, those joyless hordes of earth’s bratty progeny. I pour the ruby wine of victory! I have conquered blood, now the precious blood of all life I shall take delicious delight in imbibing.

I seek the others. Wolves, Owls, and dark angels, no longer a phantom echo of my voice but a separate-therefore real-presence to feed my essence and run wild and free with me over and through our world. I hear them singing to me, the notes ring out this time on their own, scaling low to high, then dropping into a moan. I hear howls in the mountains, mournful, aching, desirous, calling to me, and I must go.

Up into the black sky I climb, as the moon rises past the river. I come closer to the sound, stepping along narrow ridges of sheared, weather-blunted slate, eyes watchful for a glimpse of shadowy fur or the gleam of midnight eyes in the silver light.

My nipples harden, my silky midnight tresses become electric as all my attention focuses on the guiding whine: less than a thousand strides, I judge. I creep forward.

Silence. The howls have stopped. Hidden in the darkness of the grove, are the tribes of the moon, my brothers and sisters. The underbrush explodes, paws and wings crashing in a panicked flight. Once again I have noise to follow, and I begin to close on the others.

I fight the wind to climb the mountain and follow their bloody trail. My nose sniffs each clump of dirt, desperate to hold their scent. I gain the snow-lined ridge and find fresh spoor, barely an hour old, in the pine groves. I cover each urination with my own mark. I will not sneak up on them and frighten them, but make my presence known as wildly and vocally as possible.
The rain seems endless in its vigor and intensity, but it lessens to a steady drizzle as I approach the tribe, my tribe. I am so very close now, I can taste the copper in the air. I begin howling and dancing and becoming more…myself…in the grip of strong emotions.

I lift my face toward the silky moon and writhe and howl one last time. I am prepared to do this as long as my throat and lithe body holds out, but almost at once an answer comes from upwind and uphill. It rises, in a mixture of surprise and happiness, and I hear the invitation in it…

Who and what am I? Who and what is it that hears my cries of darklight, my cries of erotic dark truth? Who am I, well, I am…Julia DarkRose…I always have been and always will be…

I bound rapturously towards the direction of my tribe, and find myself on the banks of the rapids. The others stand on the far bank, and we look at each other, across the chasm that separates us.

A tangle of many branches, mud and small annoying rocks swell the river at a bend above the tree. Flash flood! I shine my darklight in warning, but still it seems my tribe cannot hear me over the crash of the lying rapids.

Even as the dirty water smashes the tree of life and engulfs them, I spring forward into the false dark flood. I hear a frightened cry as my tribe paddles to keep their heads above water, then silence. I swim into the flood towards the last sound. Everything is swirling and collapsing in the green-brown delusional froth atop the river.

A thump-splash of a wet, furry body against mine, and I sink my teeth into him to hold on while I strike out for where I think the shore of truth and darklight is. The soil of the banks erodes under my feet as I scramble, burdened with weight, to climb out of the raging river.

Then I feel him twitch with life and scrabble with his paw on the slick slate just underwater, finding toeholds under his own renewed power. I unlock my jaws thankfully, and I push my weary body onto safe ground.

Our skins have cuts from the jagged rocks and splintered branches of deceit, but they are surface wounds. Too cold and tired even to clean ourselves, we curl together into a small hollow on the north edge of a rabbit clearing. It offers some shelter from the sleeting wind as the eye of the storm moves southward and the backlash begins.

There we sleep, as the winds howl our names.

Our blood is strengthened by the truth. We are the stars and we are the earth. We are not a fictional character. We are not all powerful all knowing beings. We are not merely mundanes. We are evolution in its most glorious and majestic form…at least I know that I, DarkRose, am without a single doubt or need of pretense to convey this truth, to convey that which I was borne to be.

We, my brother and I, awaken to a few bright stars and the moon upon our shoulders, glimmering in white and crimson silver. We set out to continue our journey, we must find the rest of our brethren. We must find the tribes of the moon…

I am neither vampire or wolf, nor owl or anything other than that which Nature needs me to be. I am what I was born to be.

Stay strong, if you should call upon me and desire to walk with me… I’m coming for you.

~Julia DarkRose

Closing Thoughts

26 Jun

Closing Thoughts
By Julia DarkRose                                                            Dancer of Fire
©2015

This one thought keeps echoing in my head…
fear prevents one from joining the fray of life,
leaving only carrion while the brave carry off the choicest meats.
With that thought, I rise and howl. The hunt has begun…soon I will be drowsy and reveling in my blood-euphoria. The
mere thought of my prey’s blood coursing through my body, being covered in their sanguine elixir…devouring
(this is, of course, subjective, so please spare me your harsh judgements based upon your complete lack of any real experience and/or your reality of NOT being borne a Human Living Vampire-or insert your own label) them body and soul…is almost more than I can bare to think about without my natural borne inferno escaping my fiery spirit and body and setting the world ablaze.

Not yet…once more I go into the fray.
Once more I hunt, devour, and become the glorious predator that nature has made me.
I am a creature of the night.
I am your most horrific nightmare and
I am your most sensual dream.
I am on the prowl.

I understand that not everyone is a
predator (thank the darkness for that, I mean
how would our Mother’s sacred cycle of
life work if we were all the same!?),
but joining the fray of life is necessary for
our own evolution, ergo, the continued
positive evolution of our precious earth.

At some point in your life (if you are fortunate and aware enough)
the phoenix will appear to you and present to you the opportunity to die in the fire and rise from your own ashes…a spiritual/psychological/physical death.

In order to achieve the transformation of the
phoenix one must be willing to go into the
fray, no matter how much fear you believe courses through your veins.

Your world seems to have cracked. You feel bruised, smashed. A band of flame circles your heart, you have become
paralyzed with unfounded fear. Fear put inside of you by society, by liars, users, and abusers.

Come with me/us, Julia DarkRose & The DarkRose Journal family,
and rise from the flames and feel the glorious burn of life
and all the beauty and heartache that comes with it.
Or not. It, your life and its quality, are always up to you.

The tears upon your face are like splashes of gems.
Your eyes are now wide and black and crazed with life.
You look and see your eyes and in the depths of them,
as if in polished mirrors, the ages of the earth, truth and eternal love, fire and darkness.
You are finally home.

~Julia DarkRose

Pretty Little Lies

8 Jun

Remember this…or Don’t.

Pretty Little Lies
©2014 By Julia DarkRose

Your alarm clock rings again.                                                                  Julia Image and Prose
You rise and start your day, the same old way…again.

You go through the motions of the living, you keep smiling or crying, but you don’t believe.

You keep hoping, you keep praying, you keep worshiping your absent gods/goddesses, you keep trying to escape. You keep playing your games, reading your fantasy novels, watching movies/TV, telling pretty little lies on FB/Internet groups/pages…
But you don’t believe, not really.

You smile…again. You scream inside of your head, please wake me from this dream. Your mind whispers to you…
Please don’t fix me, I’m not broken. I’m the lie living for you so you can hide away from reality, from the beautiful world that you’re allowing to pass you by, that you have never truly seen.

Oh, my sweet Dark Angel, please don’t cry…

Put down the alcohol, remove the syringe from your sacred flesh, flush the pills down the toilet, turn off the TV, put down the book of make-believe (for awhile), remove yourself from the fairytale…for truth is stranger than fiction and far more beautiful.

Suddenly you will know that you’re not sleeping.
You’re wide awake now and you’re still here…

Now, face the truth, face your truth, so that you may finally start to live.

Or you can continue to be an empty shell, filling yourself up with all the pretty little lies…then, of course, you will never truly know all that you are capable of. You will never allow yourself the chance to know all that you might be capable of. You will never truly know all the people you could have helped save (assuming you want to help save people). You’ll never know how much you could have truly help change our world (assuming that you are actually wide awake and want to help evolve our world in a positive forward motion). You will forever be empty. Nothing will ever be able to fill your essence, your mind, your body, the way that the truth of reality can.

Living a lie, living in a fantasy world, will only, in the long run, hurt you, those around you, those you love and eventually, just like a domino effect, living a lie will hurt our precious Mother Earth. Pretty little lies, turn into big ugly lies…they kill your true spirit…they are a disease.

As always, you choose. Are you strong enough to accept reality? What are you truly made of? What do you want to be truly made of? Are you willing to pull your head out of the sand and start to truly live? Are you ready to make the hard choices that will lead you down a path riddled with hardships so that you might finally realize your truest self, your truest essence, and realize what you are truly capable of?

I, Julia DarkRose, am a beacon of Darklight. I always have been and I always will be. I know what I’m made of. I choose to know the truth over pretty little lies…do you wish to walk with me in the beautiful, erotic, pure truth of reality?

Twenty-one Years of Living Vampire History

31 May

While finishing packing up the last box of my 21+ years of the Vampire Community crap that I have accumulated and deciding what can be thrown away and what I feel absolutely needs to be preserved for the sake of our real history, not merely just someone’s perspective but factual hard evidence of what came before so that you are now able to have the relatively easy path that is now the V community…a path paved in blood, real and metaphorical…I came across this email from 2003. This is a letter from My good friend Ben M. I met Ben when I lived with the Kheperians in Ohio. Ben was once married to one of the founders of the House and it’s current owner/operator (for lack of a more PC term).

I am sharing this particular email for even though Ben is no longer a part of the V community, his insights into it were borne from his close relationships with those in The Kheperian House as well, as his intimate knowledge of the beginning of the creation of the Community. I believe that for those who actually care and truly want what’s best for all concerned, that you will find the contents of his letter worthwhile and be grateful for the chance to read an actual piece of the V community history.

His letter is about the Vampire path and his friends and loved ones that he has since parted from.

*Disclaimer-I have only mentioned the Kheprians as a timeline in history. I am in no way berating that particular House or any of its members.*

11377392_358522447674794_2562430549518009645_n         11026160_358522497674789_7578012030543762913_n

I have re-typed it for easier reading.

Thank you kindly for your time.
~Julia DarkRose

Julia,
This is Ben. I haven’t heard from you in a while so I thought I’d drop you a quick note. I hope things are going well for you in your day to day life, and that you’re finding serenity.
That’s more or less why I’m writing. Among the people that walk that particular path that I have met, I respect you the most. I recognize that throughout your struggles you remain true to yourself. And it’s important to me that you’re happy. While I think that serenity is something that just about everyone we know in common could do a world of good for, I somehow believe that you are, in my opinion, deserving of it perhaps just a little bit more than some others.

As for me, I’m doing quite well. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m no longer working at that store in Brunswick, I was moved to another store, and a month later laid off.

I’d be lying if I were to say that it wasn’t a stressful time. Bur through perseverance, I’m quite proud to report that I was hired by another company within a week, and that the change has proven to be a significantly positive experience.

It’s been absolutely splendid. At the new company, people are thankfully just a little bit more bizarre. So. yeah, I’m doing well, and what seemed to be a complete disaster has actually been a significantly uplifting experience.

I still think about my former friends and loved ones of course. I sometimes imagine somehow being able to share what I’ve learned in the time that they and I have parted ways, maybe illuminate something about the possibilities that are out there and yet within regarding the changes that we can undergo and how much actual freedom that everyone possesses. But even after all this time, there’s still a lot of pride, and there’s still a lot of fear.

I think a great deal of the suffering that’s happening in that community has a lot to do with inertia. The sense that there is somehow some sort of significant journey or undertaking that is present, but yet the strong impetus doesn’t seem to actually desire to GO anyplace or DO anything. Defiance against an imagined threat, loyalty in the face of an alleged betrayal, these things splinter even the strongest minds and wills.

The imagination, a tool of freedom, essential for our means of visualizing and comprehending the things that cannot actually be perceived, has been harnessed for a redundant purpose. It’s been used to create a rigid unchanging hierarchy of place and means and it imprisons most of the known human race. Even those who would break away from this spiritual slavery of another kind.

So I worry. And sometimes I hope that time and experience continues to propel everyone forward to making new discoveries about themselves and the way they are choosing to live, both in a day to day life and there spiritual exploration of the darkness within and without., And other times I worry that those who really don’t want to grow in either or both aspects of living, guard their position, knowledge, charisma, and intellect very jealously, and continue to cycle in a permanent sort of hovering, desperately preserving their “place” against all indications that sometimes one needs to move onto new things, new aspects of the self, new possibilities.

Cattiness, minor betrayals, small differences of opinion inside a tightly wound insular community are ubiquitously exploded into the drama. This is nothing altogether new or even necessarily something to be all that ashamed of. It’s universal to every human in any insular religious or spiritual order that has existed on this planet. In this tight proximity, our weaknesses (be they great or small, many or few) create hurricanes. Our willingness to survive these sorts of things is perhaps the greatest test that any particular spiritual community can undergo.

I guess what I’m trying to do is perhaps shed some objectivity into the area of your particular struggle. Regardless of as desperate or self destructive that community that you are close to has become, I’m of the mind that you do possess the strength of chartacter and will to abide whatever outcome is final. Unlike most all the others, you have been proven, and while many others do not and perhaps never will appreciate the true signifigance of this, I haven’t forgotten it, and most importantly, you never will.

I’m sure that you’ll be able to remain strong in the face of this, and eventually, time will tell.

-ben

End Email

I believe that this particular email that was written to me from a very important person from within the making of the very beginning of the Vampire community, is important for those who care, to read, absorb and to truly understand it’s meaning, it’s value and it’s importance.

Thank you Ben M. Your words (which I know you do not mind that I have shared after all these years with the community of people of which you referred to) have never left me. I did not forget, nor will I ever.

~Julia DarkRose

Who Shall Come With Me?

31 May

*Eleventh re-post of my literary art and the truth that seeps from my dark angel heart through every pore on my body. Thank you for taking a moment to read my thoughts come alive through the printed (electronic) word.*

**Just a reminder of who I am and what The DarkRose Journal Family of Dark Angels stand for, believe in, fight for, and live.**

By Julia DarkRose
©2013

Who Shall Come With Me?                                              11223866_358188954374810_8363388234008270465_n

As I walk through the wilderness of this world…

I learn, speak, and act upon things sublime, or things earthly; things honorable, or things divine; things sacred, or things profane; things past, or things that might be to come; things foreign, or things domestic; things more essential, or things circumstantial.

I walk through the wilderness wide awake, not asleep or dreaming. While walking, fighting, and living, great horror and those selling false darkness and light continue to fall upon me.

Who shall life’s true valor see, let them come forward; one here will constant be, come winds, come torrential weather, come the bloody storms. There’s no discouragement shall make them relent their first avow’d intent to be a warrior, a valiant spirit, a truth Sayer, a dark angel, their true self.

My well used and blood soaked sword I give to you that shall succeed me in my sojourn and my courage and skill to you that can carry it and understand it.

My many marks, scars and wounds I carry with me, to be a witness for me, that I have fought the battle of truth, who now will be my rewarder?

Naught will I be rewarded for battling against the false darkness and light…The courage and freedom to fight is itself my reward…

Who shall come with me?

Please, walk with me, until it’s time for us to part ways…
yet always be forever joined.

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