Tag Archives: darkrose

Love Me Not (Just Fuck Me…Please!)

15 Jul

Image and prose are property of Julia DarkRose
By Julia DarkRose
©2015

*This is meant to be a fun prose. I am most definitely poking fun at over dramatic Goths and wanna-be vamps.*

Love Me Not (Just Fuck Me, Please!)

Tell me no more of minds embracing minds,                          JuliaDarkRose~2015 Watermark
and hearts exchanged for hearts;
Tell me no more of dark spirits meeting and becoming one dark soul.
Tell me no more of our unbodied essence
sharing the dark bloody kiss,
and then like fallen angels, twist and become one in our despair,
and oh, so very misunderstood, dark bliss.

I was once that silly thing that once wrought
to practise this esoteric love;
I climb’d from Gothic sex to Gothic soul, from somber soul to thought;
But thinking there to move,
headlong I rolled from thought to soul, and then
from soul I lighted at the bloody sex again.

As some strict down-looked women pretend to fast,
who yet in closets eat;
So lovers who profess of the spirits taste,
Feed yet on grosser meat;
I know they boast their souls to souls convey,
however they meet, the body is the way.

Come, I will undeceive thee.
They that tread those vain intangible ways,
are like young heirs and alchemists misled
to waste their wealth and days,
for searching thus to be ever rich,
they only find a medicine for the itch.

Oh, keep thy delusions to yourself.
Oh, lie not to me about those imaginary
things which you cannot see.
Oh, my poor, poor, misled, Gothic soul,
oh, love me not,
just fuck me…please!

~Julia DarkRose

Closing Thoughts

26 Jun

Closing Thoughts
By Julia DarkRose                                                            Dancer of Fire
©2015

This one thought keeps echoing in my head…
fear prevents one from joining the fray of life,
leaving only carrion while the brave carry off the choicest meats.
With that thought, I rise and howl. The hunt has begun…soon I will be drowsy and reveling in my blood-euphoria. The
mere thought of my prey’s blood coursing through my body, being covered in their sanguine elixir…devouring
(this is, of course, subjective, so please spare me your harsh judgements based upon your complete lack of any real experience and/or your reality of NOT being borne a Human Living Vampire-or insert your own label) them body and soul…is almost more than I can bare to think about without my natural borne inferno escaping my fiery spirit and body and setting the world ablaze.

Not yet…once more I go into the fray.
Once more I hunt, devour, and become the glorious predator that nature has made me.
I am a creature of the night.
I am your most horrific nightmare and
I am your most sensual dream.
I am on the prowl.

I understand that not everyone is a
predator (thank the darkness for that, I mean
how would our Mother’s sacred cycle of
life work if we were all the same!?),
but joining the fray of life is necessary for
our own evolution, ergo, the continued
positive evolution of our precious earth.

At some point in your life (if you are fortunate and aware enough)
the phoenix will appear to you and present to you the opportunity to die in the fire and rise from your own ashes…a spiritual/psychological/physical death.

In order to achieve the transformation of the
phoenix one must be willing to go into the
fray, no matter how much fear you believe courses through your veins.

Your world seems to have cracked. You feel bruised, smashed. A band of flame circles your heart, you have become
paralyzed with unfounded fear. Fear put inside of you by society, by liars, users, and abusers.

Come with me/us, Julia DarkRose & The DarkRose Journal family,
and rise from the flames and feel the glorious burn of life
and all the beauty and heartache that comes with it.
Or not. It, your life and its quality, are always up to you.

The tears upon your face are like splashes of gems.
Your eyes are now wide and black and crazed with life.
You look and see your eyes and in the depths of them,
as if in polished mirrors, the ages of the earth, truth and eternal love, fire and darkness.
You are finally home.

~Julia DarkRose

Twenty-one Years of Living Vampire History

31 May

While finishing packing up the last box of my 21+ years of the Vampire Community crap that I have accumulated and deciding what can be thrown away and what I feel absolutely needs to be preserved for the sake of our real history, not merely just someone’s perspective but factual hard evidence of what came before so that you are now able to have the relatively easy path that is now the V community…a path paved in blood, real and metaphorical…I came across this email from 2003. This is a letter from My good friend Ben M. I met Ben when I lived with the Kheperians in Ohio. Ben was once married to one of the founders of the House and it’s current owner/operator (for lack of a more PC term).

I am sharing this particular email for even though Ben is no longer a part of the V community, his insights into it were borne from his close relationships with those in The Kheperian House as well, as his intimate knowledge of the beginning of the creation of the Community. I believe that for those who actually care and truly want what’s best for all concerned, that you will find the contents of his letter worthwhile and be grateful for the chance to read an actual piece of the V community history.

His letter is about the Vampire path and his friends and loved ones that he has since parted from.

*Disclaimer-I have only mentioned the Kheprians as a timeline in history. I am in no way berating that particular House or any of its members.*

11377392_358522447674794_2562430549518009645_n         11026160_358522497674789_7578012030543762913_n

I have re-typed it for easier reading.

Thank you kindly for your time.
~Julia DarkRose

Julia,
This is Ben. I haven’t heard from you in a while so I thought I’d drop you a quick note. I hope things are going well for you in your day to day life, and that you’re finding serenity.
That’s more or less why I’m writing. Among the people that walk that particular path that I have met, I respect you the most. I recognize that throughout your struggles you remain true to yourself. And it’s important to me that you’re happy. While I think that serenity is something that just about everyone we know in common could do a world of good for, I somehow believe that you are, in my opinion, deserving of it perhaps just a little bit more than some others.

As for me, I’m doing quite well. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m no longer working at that store in Brunswick, I was moved to another store, and a month later laid off.

I’d be lying if I were to say that it wasn’t a stressful time. Bur through perseverance, I’m quite proud to report that I was hired by another company within a week, and that the change has proven to be a significantly positive experience.

It’s been absolutely splendid. At the new company, people are thankfully just a little bit more bizarre. So. yeah, I’m doing well, and what seemed to be a complete disaster has actually been a significantly uplifting experience.

I still think about my former friends and loved ones of course. I sometimes imagine somehow being able to share what I’ve learned in the time that they and I have parted ways, maybe illuminate something about the possibilities that are out there and yet within regarding the changes that we can undergo and how much actual freedom that everyone possesses. But even after all this time, there’s still a lot of pride, and there’s still a lot of fear.

I think a great deal of the suffering that’s happening in that community has a lot to do with inertia. The sense that there is somehow some sort of significant journey or undertaking that is present, but yet the strong impetus doesn’t seem to actually desire to GO anyplace or DO anything. Defiance against an imagined threat, loyalty in the face of an alleged betrayal, these things splinter even the strongest minds and wills.

The imagination, a tool of freedom, essential for our means of visualizing and comprehending the things that cannot actually be perceived, has been harnessed for a redundant purpose. It’s been used to create a rigid unchanging hierarchy of place and means and it imprisons most of the known human race. Even those who would break away from this spiritual slavery of another kind.

So I worry. And sometimes I hope that time and experience continues to propel everyone forward to making new discoveries about themselves and the way they are choosing to live, both in a day to day life and there spiritual exploration of the darkness within and without., And other times I worry that those who really don’t want to grow in either or both aspects of living, guard their position, knowledge, charisma, and intellect very jealously, and continue to cycle in a permanent sort of hovering, desperately preserving their “place” against all indications that sometimes one needs to move onto new things, new aspects of the self, new possibilities.

Cattiness, minor betrayals, small differences of opinion inside a tightly wound insular community are ubiquitously exploded into the drama. This is nothing altogether new or even necessarily something to be all that ashamed of. It’s universal to every human in any insular religious or spiritual order that has existed on this planet. In this tight proximity, our weaknesses (be they great or small, many or few) create hurricanes. Our willingness to survive these sorts of things is perhaps the greatest test that any particular spiritual community can undergo.

I guess what I’m trying to do is perhaps shed some objectivity into the area of your particular struggle. Regardless of as desperate or self destructive that community that you are close to has become, I’m of the mind that you do possess the strength of chartacter and will to abide whatever outcome is final. Unlike most all the others, you have been proven, and while many others do not and perhaps never will appreciate the true signifigance of this, I haven’t forgotten it, and most importantly, you never will.

I’m sure that you’ll be able to remain strong in the face of this, and eventually, time will tell.

-ben

End Email

I believe that this particular email that was written to me from a very important person from within the making of the very beginning of the Vampire community, is important for those who care, to read, absorb and to truly understand it’s meaning, it’s value and it’s importance.

Thank you Ben M. Your words (which I know you do not mind that I have shared after all these years with the community of people of which you referred to) have never left me. I did not forget, nor will I ever.

~Julia DarkRose

Into the New Darklight

30 May

This, my final re-post…for at least 2 months (that’s my best guess, lol), is the “Letter From the Editor,” from Issue 6 (or maybe 5, my mind wanders sometimes and the things not immediately needed to remember in life get jumbled inside, lol). Again, thank you to everyone who has taken a few minutes out of their lives to read my literary art. It truly does mean more to me than I can easily convey in a social media post. It is my hope that somewhere, lurking either in the shadows of my words or standing up right in front of you whilst reading my hard earned wisdom (which is, of course, subjective), that you find what you need, if indeed you are searching, or that you find peace, if you are indeed in need, or
that my life transformed into prose, has somehow, in some way, helped you or at the very least, entertained you.

First, I would like to remind everyone of The DarkRose Journal ‘Fine Print,’ which has graced Her crimson pages from the very first issue (1994)…

By Julia DarkRose
©1994

Fine Print                                                            Julia DarkRose~Living Vampire 2013

This Journal is dedicated to exploring the pleasures of the Dark
and alternative realities, through the arts. These do not include
any manner of violent acts, kinkiness with unwilling parties,
sexual misconduct, exploitation of the young and/or innocent,
or illegal activities of any kind, even if the only aggrieved party
might be a right wing extremist, a left wing extremist, or a
politician.

Articles and features in the Journal are of an informative,
educational, historical, entertaining, or satirical nature.
Those who do not enjoy the Journal and do not wish to expand
their understanding of the world in which they live, and/or
broaden their horizons by exploring or reading about alternative
lifestyles that the Journal describes, should simply put it down
and not read the damn thing. The Dark and alternative lifestyles
are meant only for those who desire it, and is not meant to be
foisted upon any unsuspecting parties.

We do not practice evil
(Which is subjective anyway),
encourage anarchy, or think people should wear fishing hats to
funerals-although we defend the rights of people to do any of
these.

All those people out there who have such lonely lives and so
much free time on their hands that they think they should care
what books other people read, what movies they watch, and
which Gods (if any) they worship should just shut the hell up
and try to develop some kind of life of their very own.
So, there.
~The DarkRose Journal~

Into The New DarkLight
By Julia DarkRose
©2014

I am the darklight of all days that are passed, and my name is evolution.
I am the darklight of this day today, and my name is renewal.
I am the darklight of all days to be, and my name is
revelation…

Ancient flesh turned to stone,
Whitened dust of ancient bone,
Pure as death, cold as snow,
Dead thou wast, but livest now.
Crystal crushed, vision broken,
Spirit fettered, words unspoken,
What is frozen shall be warm,
What is formless shall take form,
What was scattered shall be whole,
Given life within this deceiver’s wasteland.

White of petals, white of ice,
White of dust and white of stone,
White of crystal, white of bone,
All things keeping, all things giving,
Out of nothing, all things living,
Out of emptiness, all darklight,
Out of blindness, now our sight.

I am now the crimson Light risen out of pure darkness:
From my brow springs all life again and again.
I am now evolved, I am now renewed,
I am now thy hope, and thy covenant, and thy
revelation.

I am alive; I wake from within my own dark embrace;
The white owl ascends, and I rise…

Out of the whitened ashes of humanity’s fire,
Out of the white stone and the white crystal,
Out of the pure white flame;
My feathers are scarlet and they are azure,
They are fiery, they are verdant,
They are golden, and they are of royal purple;
I am all things living,
I am the spring and the summer,
I am the autumn and the winter,
I am time, I am revelation,
I burn from this first dawn
Even unto the last darkness of this glorious life
Into which I will fall
And from which I will rise again…

I do not end, I am the DarkLight,
I have just begun!

Welcome to Issue 5
of The DarkRose Journal!

Welcome to renewal, healing,
empowerment, self-revelation, and true
transformation within the beautiful,
rejuvenating, Darkness.
From within your very own flames
of self-evolution.
Stand up and rise from the ashes!

*I enlarged this photo still from the last documentary that I did and it blurred. Sorry about that. Everyone say “Hello,” to Wes Hendricks, it is his blood that I am devouring. Thank you Wes! :-)*

In Darkness

23 May

*Ninth re-posting of some of my favorite literary pieces. Thank you for your time and patience and understanding with me and my re-posts. Even though many have already experienced my symphony of utterance, again and again, many have not. I know, through decades of my writing, that my thoughts turned into the printed word, have helped many people, indeed, still does reach many and help them find themselves and their way on the often winding and treacherous road of life. :-)*

The Darkness of the universe
whispered into my soul,
It breathed it’s breath of life into me,
And said, I am coming, you must live…

Oh, and live, I shall…

In Darkness                                                   Ludavik~Vampire 3 Watermark

Happy our early days,
when we shined in our
dark angel-infancy,
before we understood this world.

Oh, my darling night!
There is in your children,
a deep and dazzling darklight!
Through all our fleshly desires
glittering streams of truth and everlastingness
reach our spirits,
our eyes enthrall at it, as at eternity.

We see every night,
the kindred moon,
every night we glimpse forever,
we see it like a great ring of a pure
and endless radiant eclipse.

In our darkness,
all is chaotically calm, as it is midnight bright;
And round beneath it,
time in hours, days, years,
driven by the universal spheres,
like a vast shadow moved;
In which the world
and all her beauty were hurled
into our ebon hearts.

We watch the others walking
on their air of false grace and glory,
whose light doth try to trample on our
precious nights.

Their days, which are at best
but dull and pointless,
filled with brightly lit decay.

My darling dark angels,
I cannot send you alone into
the world of false light,
whilst I sit here
basking in the glittering night,
without placing a bloody kiss
upon your dewy smooth cheek,
and a sword bathed
in the blood of false angels,
into your fearless hands.

Go my family, the Angels of the crimson moon
and do what we do best…

Hunt, devour, teach, bring change, give without ego,
and love with the fierce, unquenchable,
dark fire of our nighttime world,
of our universe.

Here we are,
Babes of the moon,
Born now for all of you.
We are the faerie children,
We are brother and son,
We are sister and daughter,
We are mother and father,
We are the earth,
We are the water,
We are the air,
We are the fire,
We are compassion’s breath.
Our names are manifold,
Our name is Life.

~Julia DarkRose
©2013

The Darkling Plain

16 Apr

The Darkling Plain

Hither and thither spins
The windborne, mirroring soul;                                           The Darklong Plain
A thousand glimpses they have,
And yet, they never see the whole…
Sand-strewn caverns, cool and deep,
Where the winds are now all asleep.
Nature, with perfect plan,
Sees all her children at play;
Sees them try to control the mighty winds.
Then, in her masterful wisdom,
Watches the wind sweep her children away.

Oh, the day in its hotness,
Brings strife and pain;
Oh, but the sweet night, in her silence,
Brings the stars and their calm.
It is no small thing
To have enjoyed the moonlit night,
To have lived in the shadowed light,
To have loved, to have thought, to have done;
To have advanced true friends, and beat down baffling foes!
‘Tis true, all human beasts have a beating heart…

The sea of humanity
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth’s shore
It lay like folds of a lover’s smile, bright and furled and sincere;
But now, nature’s children, mostly only hear
It’s melancholy, long, withdrawing roar
Retreating, to the breath of the night wind,
Down the vast edges bleak
And naked seashore of the world.

Ah, but for those who know the beauty of Dark love,
Let us be true to one another!
For those not born of the glittering night, the world,
Which seems to lie before them like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new, so old,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

For those of us who revel in the velvet radiance of the darklight,
We are here on the darkling plain,
Come, children of darkness, let us away;
Down and away below!

Now I hear my brothers and sisters,
Calling from the bay,
Now the great night winds shorewards blow,
Now the salt tides seawards flow; Now the wild white horses play,
Champ and chafe and toss in the spray and the starry moonlight.

Down, down, down!
Down to the very depths of the sea!

We, those dwelling in the darkling plain,
Sing most joyfully with our
orchestra…
The precious song of the night.
My sea of darkness is calm
tonight.
The tide is full, the moon lies
fair upon the straits…
I hear not the world applauding it’s hollow ghost,
While the others only see the phantom of themselves,
I hear the quietess of my spirit…
I see my whole…
Dark tidings to all,
And to all a dark night…
Now I creep into my narrow bed,
I creep, and let no more be said!

~Julia DarkRose
©2012

Ludavik, My Love

4 Mar

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Ludavik,

The cry of my body and soul for completeness, that is a cry for you. The divine in me and the beast in me and all deep things come up from the abyss and I would barter my soul to be your prize for a single night.

Come to me, press upon my brow the coolness of your tender lips that I may hear the thunder of your love this night…

Be no longer tender, cover me with frenzied dark kisses, even as I would drench my body in the sweet torrents of the rain…envelop me from throat to ankle in ruby delirium, intolerable pleasure…true love.

To love you like the midnight storm, to hear the wild beating of your veins, to feel flame shuddering your body and to agonize you with my ardor, to crush you as a flower upon my milk white breast, to bear you away to some secret valley where I would love you into crimson honeyed oblivion.

I want to eat the light flaring out from your beautiful body…as I pace around, hungry, sniffing the twilight of your essence…hunting for you, for your hot heart…I want to love you to death.

~Julia DarkRose
©2105

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