Go Boldly, Find and Understand Self-Worth

I am grateful to be able to have tangible reminders of where I came from, what I help create, and all the actual blood, sweat, and tears. The twists, curls, curves, rambles, and wandering within every step of my way.

I am also grateful to have the wisdom to know when it is time to embrace the new day. Time to transform and to take my blood, sweat and tears, boldly into a new world. The world that I am now able to see and find beauty and worth in, out, under, over, and through. Besutu and worth pulsating inside its every cell.

And that is that. It is what it is. Nature is fucking phenomena chaos and I will never waste it on NOT transcending, moving forward, and learning to embrace every stage that Life in all Her unknowable (at this time) intelligence hath created.

I look back, often, at what I created, what I help create, what I changed and what I help change, and remember the sparkling winding red river of life that I chose to drink from…now an empty riverbed. I do not mourn, or whine, or attack others because the brilliant crimson vein has dried up. No, I simply appreciate the sparkling winding red river that I choose to drink from now.

Here are some pics, not even a sliver of what I did and where I came from, representing that once dazzling ruby river…now a dried, cracked, unable to support life, empty bed filled with tourists.
~Julia DarkRose Caples

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Sacrifice

Sacrifice

Someone was just asking me about my early days as a Wytch. This discussion brought back up, in my mind, my days and nights, of magik, in my early twenties. What I remember the most about that long ago time of learning and applying and changing, is sacrifice. And so, we discussed it’s true meaning and application within the real world.

While I now live in a state of being that I understand as a life lived indigenously borne from the same magik that is my mind, body, and energy, as all life; and not as a life lived practicing magik, my comprehension of what sacrifice, especially as it relates to conjuring or ritual or whatever label you deem appropriate for your path and focus; is more often than not, completely misunderstood and not actually achieved. (I know that’s a whopper of a run on sentence. šŸ˜)

2016-11-11 15.32.54

First and foremost, “sacrifice” must be defined and understood, genuinely and absolute. You can not buy something off of a shelf, have no emotion invested in it, and then use it as a sacrifice. What have you sacrificed? If you use the term offering, the same logic is applied. If you buy a bottle of alcohol to be used as an offering for whichever spirit or deity you have chosen as your focus, and are not offering anything of real personal emotional value, what have you actually offered?

While I no longer, for sometime now, perceive magik as something to be practiced or conjured or ritualized, I understand that almost all of us start there. Some of us never move past that infant-like understanding of magik. A good place to start your personal transcendence from the habitual parroting of other conceptions of what they may or may not have actually achieved; is to look more closely at and figure out, for yourself, what a real sacrifice consists of.

Maybe, one day, before your current life extinguishes from this Earth, you will move on from mimicking and/or practicing magik and realize, in the rawness of your truest core, that you are already born magik and that there is not really a need to conjure or execute “magik.”

Just be it, just know it. The same way you just know you are a Human (no matter what kind of human you believe you are). You know it with every breath you breathe. So, too, you should know you are magik…with every breath you breathe.

“I don’t need no stinkin’ altar! I am the altar!”
~Julia DarkRose 2015

~Julia DarkRose Caples

Fear or Fearless?

Fear or Fearless?

From “A Kaleidoscope of Butterflies…”

If you think you understand fear and courage within the human heart, spirit, and mind…until you face “it” and come out the other end and understand where you have been, only then can you determine the fear that exists in our world…borne from our own ignorance, for sure. Only then, will you be able determine the true breadth of that fear, and what you need to do with it.

Listening to “New Age” gurus and self-proclaimed “enlightened”Ā leaders of this bullshit or that bullshit, will NOT help you understand the reality of fear. You can take all the drugs in the world, and think you have faced it, a fear, your fear…but until you are bare bones, stripped down to the only real you that actually exists, no hocus pocus, no blah, blah, blah, from Social Media groups and the like…just you… only then you can plumb those depths known to many sentient beings as…fear.

It is real and it exists, for whatever reasons you think, because we need it to exist.
I am going to have to disagree, partially, with those that disagree with me and use the “Nothing to fear but fear itself,” at me. I know that most are going to not agree with me. That’s cool. I only know the truth and the depths of my life. To understand a fear is a type of courage. To face a fear is another type of courage. For I had to face that fear. That is courage. I am also not ignorant of why some fear exists and its ability to help people make better choices.

Life is not either this or that. It is not black and white. Life exists in a kaleidoscope of colors and the layered ability and courage to understand “it.”

 

Being afraid to admit fear…is a weakness. It is not courage or bravery.
~Julia DarkRoseĀ Caples
Copyright 2018

Fear 1 Watermark

Wanderlust

An excerpt from the current chapter I am writing for my newest literary alchemy-

“A Kaleidoscope of Butterflies.”

Chapter ?
“wanderlust”
My wanderlust allowed me to break free, at the very young age of twelve years old, from living inside that bubble, that early dying instead of living, gilded cage. You know the one. The one that (most) parents and societal ignorance wanted to keep me tethered to, that forever home, looking out the windows provided to me for my “safety” butĀ truly a trap, eventually, a prison of my own design.

So, with shoes on my feet, a shirt on my back and a mind ignorant of the badness that lived in the wide, wide, world, I tricked my prison guards, unlocked (stole the keys while eating dinner in the mess hall) that ridiculously tall door that surely weighed two-thousand pounds or more and made my great escape!

Into the bright but rainy day I slipped away from all that I had ever known and from a very real understanding of being safe and taken care of, just so I could help the world see (what I could so easily see….all the fucking time!) that our formatted lives from birth, are only a house of corrections, some decorated with the finest silk and plush carpets, and some bare bones and dilapidated, yet, still an impound, a confine, a garden to look at and sit down in, but don’t you dare touch it and/or kick up some dirt and roll around in it! And so, I slipped away out into the second taste of true freedom (I had to free my mind first!) I had ever known.

More important than the hows, whys, and wheres of my wanderlust, is, while I followed my heart and each transformation of my being to and fro, near and far, is what did I leave behind and what did I take with me, each and every time.

How did I change those whose path I wandered onto and how did they change me?

Everything we are ever taught is ultimately bullshit. Everything turns back into the soil from which we came. No one leaves this life differently than anyone else. We all die. We are gone. All that we chose to become has turned back into dust. What do we leave behind that actually matters? Is it great works of art? Is it your religion? Is it your beliefs? Is it your Social Media status? Is it a subculture? Is it a government? Is it power? Is it grand architecture? What is it that we really leave behind?

It is how did we love.

How do you love?
~Julia DarkRoseĀ Caples
Copyright 2018

Selflessness…Que?

Selflessness Meme 2018 Signed

Excerpt from “A Kaleidoscope of Butterflies”
Coming this October 2018

“Transcendence, like evolution, is an ongoing and gradual process throughout the cycle of life. Concerning the act of human selflessness, to offer help to others without tangible gain but instead the gain of feeling good about yourself and the act of help you have offered, is a natural part of our spiritual evolution.

Perhaps it might take someone an entire lifetime, or, perhaps it might never come to pass, but through our continued transcendence, we are able to offer, at least once, an act of true selflessness. Which is not in any way a guarantee that the payoff will be one of self-love, or any kind of happiness gained for ourselves from a selfless act. In fact, quite often, at least in my experience, pain and being reviled by the same people your selfless act has helped, is the outcome.

Only you, most likely, will ever know the sacrifice that might have been made so that your act of transcended selflessness could reach its target and create real positive change. Boasting about it or in some way, making sure others know about it, is, in itself, a sign that a spiritual evolutionary deed of selflessness has not yet occurred.

And that is why transcendence is an ongoing and gradual process. The first stages of human understanding and behavior must be lived before we can move onto the next stage and continue to transcend.”
~Julia DarkRoseĀ Caples
Copyright 2018

Living Awake…is Pain…Do it Anyway!

For Ariel 2 WordPressI just want to take a moment and thank my children, Ariel Martin, Xray Teddy, and Andre Martin, for choosing to live their lives awake, no matter how painful that reality can be.

Our world…my world…is “blessed” by your choices to keep becoming that which you choose. Sometimes, people choose to become apathetic, ignorant (stay ignorant), delusional, live in a fantasy world, or just be a pieceĀ of shit…simply because it is easier.

Not you three. You challenge the worlds status quo constantly. You challenge my own self-defeating bullshit. I am beyond grateful and I love all of you beyond any conception of mundane parental love. In that, you can believe.

Thank you, respectively and humbly, not only as your mom but as a current resident upon this amazingly beautiful Earth.
~Mom/Julia DarkRose Caples

 

Self-Respect

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and incur my own abhorrence. Self-respect cannot be hunted. It cannot be purchased. It is never for sale. It cannot be fabricated out of the media/public relations. It comes to us when we are alone, in quiet moments, in quiet places, when we suddenly realize that knowing the good, we have done it, knowing the beautiful, we have served it; knowing the truth, we haveĀ spoken it and put it into action.

It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgement, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character, lack of truth and honor within the soul.

~Julia DarkRose
Ā©2015

Julia DarkRose Caples Winter 2016

Julia DarkRose Caples

Photograph taken for my book-“Blood’s Truth,” in Winter, 2016.

Photographer~Jonathan Christopher Ives-Martin

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