Tag Archives: vampire sub-culture

The Dark-Re-Vamped

23 Aug

Just another excerpt from ‘The DarkRose Journal’ and the thoughts that occupy my mind. This excerpt is from the original DRJ from the early 90’s. Enjoy the dark pleasures…

The Dark
By DarkRose
© 1996

Re-published (But not re-written or edited) in Issue 5 of the DRJ-Re-Vamped
©2013
*Images are from issue 5-2013.*

It was dark…
So very, very, dark:
An envelope of darkness.

And it was warm…
So very, very, warm:
An envelope of warmth.

And the only sound
Was the distant, comforting murmur
Of the Great Being.

It was, in other words, a perfect place.

This is the opening of a short story* that describes the pre-natal comfort and security of the womb. This is how I feel about the Dark: warm, secure, comforting. I reflect in the irony that so many people are afraid of the dark-the literal as well as the abstract-when it was the dark in which we all lived so peacefully for those nine or so months. It was the glare and the harshness that caused us to first wish we had never been born; to wish we could retreat to whence we came; to go back into the Dark.
So we see that the body and the spirit have a natural affinity for the darkness. It is only through learned responses and the anti-dark prattle of others that we become fearful of the dark. We are told that the dark provides safe harbor for the evil and nefarious, that the dark obscures the truth, and that the dark is the last refuge of the weak of spirit. Nothing could be further from the truth.
We must start our understanding of the Dark by shattering the biggest misconception there is-that of the dark as a place of Evil. If being of the Light is necessarily good, so goes the argument, then being of the Dark is necessarily bad. Neither of these positions is accurate-at least not for everybody.
This idea stems from the human need to put things in two categories. Yes and No. Wrong and Right. Good and Bad. Black and White. Light and Dark. The problem is that there is not a person known who is totally good, or totally evil. We’re told that even Hitler loved children and animals; that even Jesus Christ lost his temper and promoted alcoholic beverages; and that even the Prince of Darkness is a perfect gentleman. Yet we seek a balance. An eye for an eye. A yin to a yang. A tit for a tat. Quid pro quo. And a Dark for a Light. Since most people see themselves as creatures of the light, and they further perceive themselves as good and worthy, which leaves the balance to fall to the dark, and thus is created a world of evil.
You stub your toe in the dark, the cat springs at your feet in the dark, you lose your way in the dark. That’s where the bogeyman lives, in the dark-and it must be true, because our parents said so. You shouldn’t wander the streets at night. Why? Because it’s late? No, because it’s dark. Light a candle, flip a switch, turn something on-dispel the dark!
In medieval times a solar eclipse was a portend of impending doom. Even a dark cloud passing in front of the sun at the wrong moment could brand someone a witch. In the darkness there is the Unknown, and the human animal is by nature terrified of the unknown. Beyond these seas there be dragons, the cartographers warned. Beyond the dragons, there be the edge of the world. And once you fall off the edge of the world, there be eternal darkness. Magellan finally put a stop to that, but his crew kept a wary eye out for dragons anyway!
The Unknown. The Dark is the perfect metaphoric hiding place for all that we do not understand. Our fears. Our biases. Our hatreds. And most of all, that part of ourselves that we do not wish to examine in the bright light. Yes, my dear friends, the Dark is the ultimate scapegoat; the repository of our sins, real and imagined. But just as one can clean out the cobwebs of a spooky old attic and then enjoy the treasures that are revealed, so can we all learn to if not love, then at least appreciate the dark.
But is it true? Is there evil there? Some. There are deceitful spirits and lost souls and a certain amount of karmic dredge. But there is much more of that in the Light. The contemptible con man that cleans out his victim’s bank account does so with a pressed suit and an engaging smile, not with a black hood and mask. The church goer sings long and loudly in the pew as sunlight streams through the stained glass window, then rushes out to bed his neighbor’s wife. The perfect housewife dumps out a half gallon of milk exactly on the due date, then snorts in derision as she passes a homeless family on the street. And it’s all done by the good and pure people of the Light. Jeffrey Dahmer was the boy next door. Ted Bundy wad the Boy Scout next door. John Wayne Gacy was the clown next door. Tit for tat. Quid pro quo.
So instead of being turned away by the perceived evil of the dark, let’s look to see what else there might be in there. We’ve admitted that it’s hard to see in there, so let’s step in long enough to let our eyes grow accustomed. As the pupils dilate, so let the mind open and expand. Let the senses be aware. Let the soul be eager.
Let’s imagine a scenario. It is somewhere around the year 1200. We’re in England-a scary place at that time, until you realize the rest of the world is even scarier. Power and position come much more swiftly at the point of a sword than the nub of a pen. The local sheriff is subservient to the Earl, and enforces the law as it is convenient and handy. To get from one town to another, one must walk-only the rich have horses. And to walk on these roads is to take your life in your hands. Bands of outlaws have free reign outside the gates of the city, and are eager to relieve a passerby of their purse and their life. The outlaws live in the thick forest; since by their outlaw status, they are denied citizenship. Thus the forest is a place of the Unknown. Evil lurks there. The forest is the Dark. Beyond these woods there be dragons. Beyond these dragons there be death.
Everyone has his or her place in the pecking order. Peasants serve craftsman, serfs serve knights who serve nobility who serve the king. Everything in the system works until someone decides that they don’t wish to be a part of the accepted system. Maybe they feel they should be able to own land without having the royal blessing; maybe they feel they should be able to have authority without having a noble lineage; maybe they feel they should be able to worship according to their own belief system rather than that of the powerful Church. Whatever the reasons, these people feel slightly apart from the norm. They are independent. They are the exception, rather than the rule. They cluster in small groups of like-minded souls, finding solace in the very few who also wish to chart their own course. They realize they can’t continue living in the city, because the city is very intolerant of those who are intolerant of the city. People hang for things like that. They want to go live in the forest, because there the city will leave them alone. But the forest is Dark, and in the Dark, there is evil.
This small band of society’s displaced ventures tentatively into the woods, keeping their eyes and ears open for the dangers that dwell there. They find a cave. It is dry and warm, but it is also dark. Their desperation finally overcomes their fear, and they move into the cave. It’s not bad. As a matter of fact, they become quite comfortable there. Other people hear about this new little sub-society in the forest, and the braver of them venture past their apprehensions and find the cave. They, too, find support there.
All of these formerly displaced people are now placed. They have found a home in the Dark. And they are making discoveries-the differences between their home in the Dark and their old residence in the Light. Now please don’t misunderstand me when I say that these people lived in the Dark. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they lived in actual darkness, that there was no light, and that they had to stumble around in an unseen void until their senses developed bat-like sonar. They used candles. They used lanterns. They built fires. They were artists and writers and mathematicians and scientists and scholars and parents and clerics and sellers and buyers and all the kinds of things that people of the Light are-and for these activities they had to dispell the physical darkness. They had to venture out of the cave to interact and commune with the world outside. They were bifunctional. They moved at ease in both worlds, when necessary. It’s just that for their personal growth and nourishment they preferred the Dark.
Why? Because the Dark is an incredibly sensual place. Their sense of being has become focused. Their senses of being have become sharpened. When they seek pleasures, they are rewarded with ecstasy. Intense touches, intense aromas, intense sights and sounds. They have never known an odor so fragrant and full-bodied, or a taste so fulfilling, or a sight so beautiful. They have never known an orgasm so full of love and so full of life.
They have discovered that the Dark, rather than serving to mask and deceive, does instead act as a filter. It forbids the invasion of the cluttered and confused. It intimidates the cowardly and short-sighted. It makes a barrier that the hypocrite and self-deceiver find hard to penetrate. The kindred spirits of Thoreau, Epicurus, and Dionysus make it past. Diogenes shines his lantern approvingly here.
The cave-dwellers, those disciples of the Dark, live in one with their surroundings. They love nature, for it is nature that has given them their safe haven. They do not wish to exploit their fellow denizen, because that is their family. They do not want to shut out that which is mysterious and incomprehensible, for it is there that new knowledge and discovery dwell. They sincerely wish to find their inner spirit, for that is their essence. They sincerely wish to find their other kindred, for with them is their past and their future. They learn to look at everything that comes their way with an appreciative and curious eye. In the Dark, things reveal themselves slowly, but once they are revealed, they are true and pure. It is only in the Light that there is a need for pretense and masquerade, for it is only in the Light that judgments are handed down based on surface rather than substance.
These cave-dweller citizens of the Dark were my ancestors. They were my family. I, was one of them. I watched from the safety of my cave as the outside world slowly turned increasingly to turmoil and destruction. I ventured out as necessary, for my life in the Dark better equipped me to deal with life in the Light. I was on to them, yet they were helpless and blind in my Dark.
I was then, I am now, and I will always be, a daughter of the Dark. Night* is my Mother. And, I, her faithful child continue to find solace within her dark embrace. My lover, my teacher, my immortal Mother opens her veins to me, and I drink. From her flows the blood of life. The blood of life washes my soul clean. I bathe in its sensuality and truth. I celebrate its wisdom and beauty.
It is time for all of Night’s children to come home. Our great immortal Mother longs to embrace her lost children with her black wings of endarkment. She longs to fill your mortal life with dark pleasure and love. She longs to teach your spirit the wisdom of the Dark. She patiently awaits for the return of her beloved and beautiful children.
Although my recollection of what came before is sometimes dim, my spirit most assuredly remembers the dark from whence it came. It recalls fondly the security and comfort that was found there, and it rejoices that I have found my way back.
I look out from the Dark with bright eyes, and my senses revel in its erotic purity. The Dark is home, and the home is Dark. Welcome to my home.

*From “Light at the End of the Tunnel” copyright 1985 by L.L. Hart
*Night, also known as Lilith, the Sumerian goddess of beauty, sexuality, and truth; in Judaism, the mother of darkness and demons.

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Real Vampire News Intertview

19 Jul

http://realvampirenews.com/vampire-media-a-roundtable-chat/

Julia DarkRose~Living Vampire 2013

Love Me Not (Just Fuck Me…Please!)

15 Jul

Image and prose are property of Julia DarkRose
By Julia DarkRose
©2015

*This is meant to be a fun prose. I am most definitely poking fun at over dramatic Goths and wanna-be vamps.*

Love Me Not (Just Fuck Me, Please!)

Tell me no more of minds embracing minds,                          JuliaDarkRose~2015 Watermark
and hearts exchanged for hearts;
Tell me no more of dark spirits meeting and becoming one dark soul.
Tell me no more of our unbodied essence
sharing the dark bloody kiss,
and then like fallen angels, twist and become one in our despair,
and oh, so very misunderstood, dark bliss.

I was once that silly thing that once wrought
to practise this esoteric love;
I climb’d from Gothic sex to Gothic soul, from somber soul to thought;
But thinking there to move,
headlong I rolled from thought to soul, and then
from soul I lighted at the bloody sex again.

As some strict down-looked women pretend to fast,
who yet in closets eat;
So lovers who profess of the spirits taste,
Feed yet on grosser meat;
I know they boast their souls to souls convey,
however they meet, the body is the way.

Come, I will undeceive thee.
They that tread those vain intangible ways,
are like young heirs and alchemists misled
to waste their wealth and days,
for searching thus to be ever rich,
they only find a medicine for the itch.

Oh, keep thy delusions to yourself.
Oh, lie not to me about those imaginary
things which you cannot see.
Oh, my poor, poor, misled, Gothic soul,
oh, love me not,
just fuck me…please!

~Julia DarkRose

The DarkRose Journal YouTube Channel

1 Jul

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBH8hJSiCxJoC9iRfUx1STg/feed?view_as=public

DarkRose Journal Cover Art

http://www.darkrosejournal.net

Life

1 Jul

©Julia DarkRose
2015

Life                                                                       red night sky owl

“I’m not losing my mind,
I was just looking for the breath of life,
trying to find my dreams again,
a little sight of the beginning and the end,
a fleeting vision of the stars and the glittering air,
a vision of the All from the Nothing.”

Oh, my hallowed lambs, all you need is one more touch,
one more sweet caress,
just one more sensation of the mystical storm,
just one more breath of life.
Oh and then you’ll believe,
oh my, how you will believe then…

You say you just need your heart to bleed,
to beat in time with the thunder.
You say you just need your eyes to cry tears,
that cascade down the banality of your creviced face,
like the silky rain,
of a deathless life.

You need to dance with the wind again,
but your heart is a hollow place,
and for you the wind no longer blows through your soul,
the thunder has stopped crashing through your mind,
and the cleansing rain simply slides off of your numb flesh.
For you, the moon reveals no secrets, She is silent.

Oh, oh, oh, oh,
you’ll never find that breath of life,
you’ll never taste that mystical storm,
you’ll never have just one more touch…

Oh, my sacramental darling,
If you just breathe out the distorted fable of nirvana’s gleam,
and inhale the black blizzard in,
to dance with you once again,
under the ruby moon,
you’ll search no more for a breath of life…
Oh, my, no,
you will finally be the breath of ALL life.
~Julia DarkRose

Twenty-one Years of Living Vampire History

31 May

While finishing packing up the last box of my 21+ years of the Vampire Community crap that I have accumulated and deciding what can be thrown away and what I feel absolutely needs to be preserved for the sake of our real history, not merely just someone’s perspective but factual hard evidence of what came before so that you are now able to have the relatively easy path that is now the V community…a path paved in blood, real and metaphorical…I came across this email from 2003. This is a letter from My good friend Ben M. I met Ben when I lived with the Kheperians in Ohio. Ben was once married to one of the founders of the House and it’s current owner/operator (for lack of a more PC term).

I am sharing this particular email for even though Ben is no longer a part of the V community, his insights into it were borne from his close relationships with those in The Kheperian House as well, as his intimate knowledge of the beginning of the creation of the Community. I believe that for those who actually care and truly want what’s best for all concerned, that you will find the contents of his letter worthwhile and be grateful for the chance to read an actual piece of the V community history.

His letter is about the Vampire path and his friends and loved ones that he has since parted from.

*Disclaimer-I have only mentioned the Kheprians as a timeline in history. I am in no way berating that particular House or any of its members.*

11377392_358522447674794_2562430549518009645_n         11026160_358522497674789_7578012030543762913_n

I have re-typed it for easier reading.

Thank you kindly for your time.
~Julia DarkRose

Julia,
This is Ben. I haven’t heard from you in a while so I thought I’d drop you a quick note. I hope things are going well for you in your day to day life, and that you’re finding serenity.
That’s more or less why I’m writing. Among the people that walk that particular path that I have met, I respect you the most. I recognize that throughout your struggles you remain true to yourself. And it’s important to me that you’re happy. While I think that serenity is something that just about everyone we know in common could do a world of good for, I somehow believe that you are, in my opinion, deserving of it perhaps just a little bit more than some others.

As for me, I’m doing quite well. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m no longer working at that store in Brunswick, I was moved to another store, and a month later laid off.

I’d be lying if I were to say that it wasn’t a stressful time. Bur through perseverance, I’m quite proud to report that I was hired by another company within a week, and that the change has proven to be a significantly positive experience.

It’s been absolutely splendid. At the new company, people are thankfully just a little bit more bizarre. So. yeah, I’m doing well, and what seemed to be a complete disaster has actually been a significantly uplifting experience.

I still think about my former friends and loved ones of course. I sometimes imagine somehow being able to share what I’ve learned in the time that they and I have parted ways, maybe illuminate something about the possibilities that are out there and yet within regarding the changes that we can undergo and how much actual freedom that everyone possesses. But even after all this time, there’s still a lot of pride, and there’s still a lot of fear.

I think a great deal of the suffering that’s happening in that community has a lot to do with inertia. The sense that there is somehow some sort of significant journey or undertaking that is present, but yet the strong impetus doesn’t seem to actually desire to GO anyplace or DO anything. Defiance against an imagined threat, loyalty in the face of an alleged betrayal, these things splinter even the strongest minds and wills.

The imagination, a tool of freedom, essential for our means of visualizing and comprehending the things that cannot actually be perceived, has been harnessed for a redundant purpose. It’s been used to create a rigid unchanging hierarchy of place and means and it imprisons most of the known human race. Even those who would break away from this spiritual slavery of another kind.

So I worry. And sometimes I hope that time and experience continues to propel everyone forward to making new discoveries about themselves and the way they are choosing to live, both in a day to day life and there spiritual exploration of the darkness within and without., And other times I worry that those who really don’t want to grow in either or both aspects of living, guard their position, knowledge, charisma, and intellect very jealously, and continue to cycle in a permanent sort of hovering, desperately preserving their “place” against all indications that sometimes one needs to move onto new things, new aspects of the self, new possibilities.

Cattiness, minor betrayals, small differences of opinion inside a tightly wound insular community are ubiquitously exploded into the drama. This is nothing altogether new or even necessarily something to be all that ashamed of. It’s universal to every human in any insular religious or spiritual order that has existed on this planet. In this tight proximity, our weaknesses (be they great or small, many or few) create hurricanes. Our willingness to survive these sorts of things is perhaps the greatest test that any particular spiritual community can undergo.

I guess what I’m trying to do is perhaps shed some objectivity into the area of your particular struggle. Regardless of as desperate or self destructive that community that you are close to has become, I’m of the mind that you do possess the strength of chartacter and will to abide whatever outcome is final. Unlike most all the others, you have been proven, and while many others do not and perhaps never will appreciate the true signifigance of this, I haven’t forgotten it, and most importantly, you never will.

I’m sure that you’ll be able to remain strong in the face of this, and eventually, time will tell.

-ben

End Email

I believe that this particular email that was written to me from a very important person from within the making of the very beginning of the Vampire community, is important for those who care, to read, absorb and to truly understand it’s meaning, it’s value and it’s importance.

Thank you Ben M. Your words (which I know you do not mind that I have shared after all these years with the community of people of which you referred to) have never left me. I did not forget, nor will I ever.

~Julia DarkRose

“Thank You”

25 May
This is an excerpt of a “Thank You,” written by Johnny DB Crow for the first issue of The DarkRose Journal-ReVamped.

Property of DarkRose Productions
© Johnny DB Crow 2013
Julia DarkRose~Queen 1 Watermark
 Thank You DarkRose Journal

I can honestly say that I have the DRJ to thank for completely changing my life and very existence!
How you say?
Well, I will be glad to tell you…

I first discovered the DRJ as an advertisement in some long forgotten underground magazine back in 1995. Yes, 1995. We are all getting older. I wrote a letter to a Lady DarkRose, I assumed the person that wrote and published the magazine. Just a short letter introducing myself, inquiring about ordering information, price, etc. To my surprise, she went ahead and sent me a copy, a letter in her lovely script and scent (she always smells of roses) saying she trusted me to send payment and hoped that I enjoyed her magazine, a questionnaire to fill out and some DRJ flyers that I still have to this day.

I immersed myself into this incredible collection of beautifully written darkness, finding deep truths about myself. I learned that I wasn’t evil incarnate like I had been called all my life. There were others like myself and they weren’t hiding or denying who or what they were.
Leading, organizing, fighting and sacrificing for this group of like minded individuals (now the so called OVC) was this Lady DarkRose that trusted me enough to send her magazine at her own expense, assuming I was honorable and respectful enough to send payment, I was. Just from her words, actions and obvious passion for like minded kind, I knew that I loved this DarkRose and thought her beautiful. I filled out the questionnaire and returned it, which she still has today. In her next letter, DarkRose sent me a photo of herself and unfuckingholyshit! She was the most beautiful woman in the world!!! I was already in love with her just through her words and ideals, when I saw her, I saw my vision of absolute perfection I had always imagined and fantasized about.

*End Excerpt*

*These are his words, not mine. I have to emphasize (how sad that I feel I have to always include disclaimers) the fact that I didn’t write this about myself, lest I be accused of being a media whore, a narcissist, a glamour vampyre slut (who steals other women’s husbands/boyfriends) or a myriad of other untruths that people who actually feel unsatisfied with what they’ve allowed themselves to become and the life they have chosen to live, need to spew at me (Lol), without any valid foundation from which they draw upon these hate-filled fabled conclusions. smile emoticon… I am simply sharing but another person’s (one of many) gratitude for who and what I have chosen to become and for who and what I keep becoming, and my efforts to help others from that which I have already lived, and from that which I am living and will live.This was published in issue 1 of ‘The DarkRose Journal’-ReVamped copyright 2013.*

Thank you.
~Julia DarkRose

**This is a photo of one of the flyers I sent to Johnny DB Crow in 1995.*

Thank You DRJ
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